His Meditation
#5
I think we both need to keep learning the same lesson: a poem is not a lecture, and it should not feel like one.

You've written prose with line breaks, that's the main issue. 

As prose it's not bad! As poetry it fails.
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Messages In This Thread
His Meditation - by dukealien - 10-30-2026, 10:08 PM
RE: His Meditation - by busker - 10-31-2026, 12:47 AM
RE: His Meditation - by matsunosuperfan - 10-31-2026, 01:01 AM
RE: His Meditation - by dukealien - 11-01-2026, 12:29 AM
RE: His Meditation - by matsunosuperfan - 11-01-2026, 03:44 AM
RE: His Meditation - by busker - 11-01-2026, 08:21 AM
RE: His Meditation - by dukealien - 11-01-2026, 09:36 AM
RE: His Meditation - by busker - 11-01-2026, 11:18 AM
RE: His Meditation - by matsunosuperfan - 11-01-2026, 11:53 AM
RE: His Meditation - by dukealien - 11-01-2026, 11:54 PM
RE: His Meditation - by busker - 11-02-2026, 04:42 AM
RE: His Meditation - by matsunosuperfan - 11-03-2026, 01:03 AM



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