Drinking Song

[matsunosuperfan]

This is a lovely read, my notes may not be helpful as they are mostly in the category of Thoughts Inspired By but I want you to protect those sparks. The title is strong as it made me look for why? and gave the poem a forlorn cast. I like starting with the quote, plenty of room for thought there.

Drinking Song

Moon a hole of light
—Mitski

Elke doesn’t like much, but she's crazy
about blue. Nice break on crazy, blue made me think of the Joni Mitchell album Blue.
She used to put a little heart
on every text, a robin’s egg Clear color and also made me think of Easter egg in the hidden meaning mode.
reminder of the smile I knew
she hated to be seen. Later,
I changed my own heart so it matched. Lovely line.
The kids still ask. Gives a strong sense of time.

We’d stay up passing songs somebody else wrote
about people who were loved
in ways you couldn't name
without a grand piano. There's a blanket of a road
in Germany
that hugs the painted hills so tight,
you'd swear the whole damn world was on
the spectrum.
Beautiful straight through, the first four lines amplified the Joni reference for me but so strong for youthful intimacy and its deep, long-lasting effects, well done. Spectrum threw some rainbow/neuro-divergency confusion, disruptive but I may be okay with it.

Elke named her dog
after a children's story
where the wicked spirits vanish, scattered
to the winds by faithful hounds. Her mouth
stretched wide as flesh split open
by an axe or razor blade
is red as anything you like
waiting to be fed.
Again, the first four lines take flight.
"as anything you like
waiting to be fed."
is awkward for me.

In the winter mountains, Elke 
doesn't speak, it's quiet
and it's cold, no matter how many shots
whistle past the moon’s high cheekbones
here in California, in the place where we were
finally to meet, the widest eye
that ever watched you hanging
open for the night.
Great read here and satisfying end. "how many shots" is interesting in a poem titled Drinking Song, there's Joni again in California, emotive, open-ended last three lines.

Love this one, thanks for posting it.

Tysm I'm always glad to have your comments