Never There - edit

[busker]

Never There


Immersed in high-res AI video
outside irrelevancies fade
leaving only a driftwood cabin
by a sunny sea somewhere–
no storms, a little evening fog
and black nights crowded with
cool stars too far away to bother.

Only endless dunes unmarked
white sand on which to draw
with a found crab claw
bare feet finding firmness
made up of all those grains
which will obligingly erase
each verse committed to them.

And inside, desiccated
by salt wind, no book of psalms
or numbers, three-view plans
of objects with dimensions grown
irrelevant from long disuse
right-angles absent, pages merged
with fading ink and brushing fingertips.

But now no key-string words produce
that soft-addictive, cool-seductive place
of surface vision, shores of no return
and whispered peace.  It was
a sample.

original version;


What would it take to drain
all complexity from life
leaving only a driftwood cabin
by a sunny sea somewhere–
no storms, a little evening fog
and black nights crowded with
cool stars too far away to bother?

No phone, no keyboard, only screen
white sand on which to draw
with a found crab claw
bare feet finding compactness
made up of all those grains
which will obligingly erase
each verse committed to them.

And in the cabin desiccated
by salt wind, no book of psalms
or numbers, three-view plans
of objects with dimensions grown
irrelevant with long disuse
right-angles absent, pages merged
with fading ink and brushing fingertips.

Too much, it would take entirely
more absence than my breath
could stand to give up all
these hated complications loved
for regulation, knowing next
name called, address more real
than whispered sand and peace.

Inspired by an AI video

I like the lines in green, esp the cool stars. 
I don't think you need to spell out every detail eg. 'verse committed to them'. It makes the line very wordy, and the reader can anyway infer where what is being committed. That extra clarity is unnecessary and counterproductive, in fact.