Sketches of Pampánga, v2
#4
(10-24-2026, 11:16 PM)RiverNotch Wrote:  Sketches of Pampánga


I beam at the sight
of black Aráyat rising
amidst golden fields. .... 'golden fields' is cliche, and loses me

When the river swells,
frogs dance in muddy water
or their legs in oil. ..... not familiar with the geography. are there oil seeps here? confuses more than anything. frog legs dancing when you pour salt on them? an unnecessary bit of savagery

Pinatúbo's wrath ... cliched
levelled cherished homes where now 
the taláhib blooms. 

With Christmas come lamps
coiled into colorful wheels,
distracting drivers. ..... this is a nice bit of ending. For me, and particularly for a short poem, this is it. This is the poem.
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Messages In This Thread
Sketches of Pampánga, v2 - by RiverNotch - 10-24-2026, 11:16 PM
RE: Sketches of Pampánga - by lucienne24 - 10-25-2026, 12:27 AM
RE: Sketches of Pampánga - by matsunosuperfan - 10-25-2026, 02:03 AM
RE: Sketches of Pampánga - by busker - 10-26-2026, 04:49 PM
RE: Sketches of Pampánga, v2 - by RiverNotch - 10-26-2026, 08:07 PM
RE: Sketches of Pampánga, v2 - by wasellajam - 10-26-2026, 09:36 PM



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