Haiku (when I'm sad and heavy)

[milo]

Haiku

When I'm sad and heavy
rain falls in the street, I smile
watching my dog run

“Sad and heavy” is the sort of abstraction that is the opposite of haiku
Rain falls in the street
My dog runs:
I smile.

Would be closer to the spirit, though it too is horrible

thanks for reading. If I write more of these I will not share them here, probably. all the feedback has just been pedantry about what haiku traditionally do.

For sure - it is a topic well-trod and the pedantry is exhausting especially when we consider the debate has been going on in a Pound/Ginsberg style debate for over 100 years/

Facts are - traditional haiku and haiku traditions do NOT work in English which is the seed of the birth of the American Haiku movement.

Anyway - probably a better topic for discussion than here as I really have nothing to say about the current haiku.