Same Slop

[matsunosuperfan]

Same Slop

Hands land gently on her knees
a solider squats down.
Her eyes gleem, tears shine
in the cameras reflection.

Background illustrates bystanders
as a movement of colors celebrating
the return of a friend.

Time slows down depicting 
a perfect moment
at a unknown airport. 

Then you see it,
sliding glass doors part.
Fur sheen glosses
in the cameras reflection.

A golden retriever runs
as fast as tile allows.
Sliding into the soiler
then jumping into a hug.

It's then you realized you've seen this before.
Same solider different dog, AI slop strikes again.

You'd think Claude would know I prefer cats.

Hey bunx, a very topical subject with a creative angle of attack. I like how the poem is ostensibly about AI slop but intersects with a passing comment on the simultaneous reification and commodification of soldiers' (I think that's the word your device hates to type?) lives.

Biggest points to address:

1) still writing as if someone has a gun to your head saying "MORE DECLARATIVE VERBS." again, "X verbs Y" over and over is droning. highly recommend you avoid this and vary your syntax so we can pay attention to the ideas and not be distracted by craft.

2) the tactic of describing a bunch of cliches gets the point across, but also robs the poem of real emotional heat. Speaker acts surprised that it turns out to be slop, but why? it all sounds fake and empty from the jump.

3) poem is fundamentally pedantic and telegraphs its own conclusion so directly that the arc is unsatisfying

people in background as "a movement of colors" was a highlight m.oment of language for me