10-21-2026, 09:48 PM
(This post was last modified: 10-21-2026, 10:23 PM by RiverNotch.)
thanks for the feedback
re "sheets of falling water": sunshowers, basically.
more about the narrator's the goal of this revision, hope it's not too lame xD
re matsuno: which recent projects? the pieces i've posted that are part of NaPM are, well, they're part of NaPM, and here that could mean trying one's hand at writing thirty+ poems of the same form while following some prompts, with those prompts this year being of a certain theme. "Contra Heterodoxy" you never reviewed. this and "A Sketch" are my attempts at sort of continuing what i started with NaPM in terms of consistently writing in the same form, pentameter, all with the very distant goal of writing an actual, honest-to-goodness epic. so for models, it's epics, and less epics in translation than epics like La divine commedia, The Faerie Queene, Paradise Lost, Jerusalem, or Florante at Laura. the where is wherever they might find use, whether just in this forum or in some literary contest/anthology i bother to submit to. the who is whomever still takes poetry seriously nowadays, a vanishingly small number really.
as for the rest of the critique....i'll break my usual rule of keeping mum and say that "It really feels like the reader is an afterthought here and the speaker is just enjoying the sound of their own voice" is peak irony xD
re "sheets of falling water": sunshowers, basically.
more about the narrator's the goal of this revision, hope it's not too lame xD
re matsuno: which recent projects? the pieces i've posted that are part of NaPM are, well, they're part of NaPM, and here that could mean trying one's hand at writing thirty+ poems of the same form while following some prompts, with those prompts this year being of a certain theme. "Contra Heterodoxy" you never reviewed. this and "A Sketch" are my attempts at sort of continuing what i started with NaPM in terms of consistently writing in the same form, pentameter, all with the very distant goal of writing an actual, honest-to-goodness epic. so for models, it's epics, and less epics in translation than epics like La divine commedia, The Faerie Queene, Paradise Lost, Jerusalem, or Florante at Laura. the where is wherever they might find use, whether just in this forum or in some literary contest/anthology i bother to submit to. the who is whomever still takes poetry seriously nowadays, a vanishingly small number really.
as for the rest of the critique....i'll break my usual rule of keeping mum and say that "It really feels like the reader is an afterthought here and the speaker is just enjoying the sound of their own voice" is peak irony xD