I should smile more

[busker]

I should smile more ... writing in the first person makes this poem hard to read, with all the whingeing

First I hated silence
as I found my own voice
soft and easy
on the ears of those who called me
common and grotesque—  ... S1 dials up the self pity to 10,000

I knew no deformity
except that like them, I was hungry
after every scrap of love
that falls down 
off the truck.  ... 'hungry for love', 'scraps of love' - nope

Then I hated speech
because my words were useless
salted water  ... there's a full stop implied after 'useless', but words as useless salted water would also be an interesting, if odd and potentially illogical, metaphor  
running from a stranger's face
who knew just what I was— 

the ocean understands
even when I'm thirsty, raving
in the folds of blue immensity ... 'blue immensity' - nope
I can't contain
forever.

Now I am alone, people
surround me
holding crooked hands
up to their eyes ... I like this
as if they might see something
like the sun!

A difficult one. I'm sure it can be salvaged with the right framing (third person instead of second, perhaps, with a serious cutting down of the teen girl angst).