A ballad

[Deor Ana Log]

Trial by Water

'You tell me all your roving years 'roving' fits well in your opening line
you've had no love but me.
Look, then, on this mirror lake, expand on this concept more
and tell me what you see.'
'I see but my own face, my dear,
green branches, empty skies...'
'Nought else? 
Why then these trembling hands,
that dead light in your eyes?'
'Ophelia, Ophelia...' is this is reference to the hamlet?
the wild bird taunting cries.

A great start but I would love to see another stanza or two. Right now I don't feel there is enough substance to fully critique. Can't wait to see where this goes, thanks for sharing! -Deor Ana Log