The sun round like a bun
#3
(09-14-2026, 11:32 AM)busker Wrote:  I see the sun
Round like a bun
O I’m having fun
While the sun is on the run. This Mon 
day. This Tuesday. Every day 
even unto the end of days when the fire is a hand’s breadth away, and the dead in graves are sexless and all the Qurans textless.
Prepare
everyone.
I like opal's notes. I can't seem to reconcile the end with the beginning here. Yeah at first it feels undeniably silly string vibes, if not without an undertone of mania/desperation. Nice how "round like a bun" can describe either the sun, or the "I." 

"This Mon" is SO cheeky that I'm like okay, we're JUST being silly string. And then half a breath later we get "even unto the end of days when the fire is a hand's breadth away." 

Now I am a fan of mixing registers but I feel this is just asking too much of the reader. How are we to parse the tone here? It seems to be asking for "lofty and earnest" but I just can't get there so immediately after putting my mind in the Willy Wonka blender, as the first 4 lines seem to so strongly suggest. 

"Prepare / everyone" is another clever ambiguity. 

I am pretty convinced that the poem/speaker/poet are all very clever. Beyond that, I am a bit at a loss for sensibility. 

Feels like this should be longer, IMO. But an interesting seed for sure. Caught my attention.
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Messages In This Thread
The sun round like a bun - by busker - 09-14-2026, 11:32 AM
RE: The sun round like a bun - by opal.zzz - 09-14-2026, 10:43 PM
RE: The sun round like a bun - by matsunosuperfan - 09-15-2026, 12:19 AM
RE: The sun round like a bun - by busker - 09-15-2026, 02:21 PM



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