09-15-2026, 12:19 AM
(09-14-2026, 11:32 AM)busker Wrote: I see the sunI like opal's notes. I can't seem to reconcile the end with the beginning here. Yeah at first it feels undeniably silly string vibes, if not without an undertone of mania/desperation. Nice how "round like a bun" can describe either the sun, or the "I."
Round like a bun
O I’m having fun
While the sun is on the run. This Mon
day. This Tuesday. Every day
even unto the end of days when the fire is a hand’s breadth away, and the dead in graves are sexless and all the Qurans textless.
Prepare
everyone.
"This Mon" is SO cheeky that I'm like okay, we're JUST being silly string. And then half a breath later we get "even unto the end of days when the fire is a hand's breadth away."
Now I am a fan of mixing registers but I feel this is just asking too much of the reader. How are we to parse the tone here? It seems to be asking for "lofty and earnest" but I just can't get there so immediately after putting my mind in the Willy Wonka blender, as the first 4 lines seem to so strongly suggest.
"Prepare / everyone" is another clever ambiguity.
I am pretty convinced that the poem/speaker/poet are all very clever. Beyond that, I am a bit at a loss for sensibility.
Feels like this should be longer, IMO. But an interesting seed for sure. Caught my attention.

