09-12-2026, 02:01 AM
(09-10-2026, 02:21 PM)matsunosuperfan Wrote: A Perfect HeronI had a great time breaking down this piece, more fun than I have had in a long time. Thank you so much for pushing this (I do the same thing alot too) to my attention. I can't wait to read more from you in the future, and will check out previous pieces. -Deor Ana Log
Our bodies carved an X into the earth
where we had sat for hours watching you could say 'four' or 'fore' hours, for a nice double meaning
stupid birds dip their blue heads into the fog
collapsed around the lake, like they
couldn’t find another fish, or figure out
whose turn it was to brush the water’s hair. I have never seen personification of water used in this way; great job!
Sometimes, when it’s late and no one’s there
to hear the silly things I say out loud a well woven confession, but try to be more subtle
instead of doing myself harm, I pray.
There was a short man with a long gun you should introduce this man eariler, and center him through the piece if he is the subject
on that purple evening we took Aspen down who is aspen? - not a criticism I just would love to know
to run wild over all the sudden flowers.
You said it looked like someone
dragged a bag of seeds behind them
overnight, and in the morning, try switching 'overnight' or 'morning' into dawn,dusk,twilight etc to keep things fresh
every ant had its own sun. Sometimes,
I like the things you say so much
I have to kiss you. is the kiss consensual? please be more descriptive here!
It was a perfect heron
and he killed it with one shot. it seems like a deliberate choice to not say who killed the bird here, was that your intention? Or was it the "short man with the long gun"?
You Spend To Much Time On Being Right