Men and Women

[milo]

Thanks so much for taking the time <3 these are fair crits! Other than the accusation that the first line is redundant; it's just repetition for emphasis. Not saying that was a good or productive decision, but redundant it ain't  or at worst, purposely redundant. 


I did mean to be a little bit of a Clever Boi with the "who gets which verbs" ambiguity. But I think it's mostly empty cleverness. "Empty calories" is a good charge to level against this poem in present form. The muddiness you refer to is meant to read as gender confusion/anxiety, but I agree that right now it mostly just comes across as vague gesturing from a pulpit that it's not clear the speaker deserves.

I did not get gender confusion at all. The N seems to feel they have it pretty much sorted, reinforced for me by the thought of switching in another life, experiencing something different. I can't find any changes in this poem that would help aim it where you want it to go but if you can tweak it to there I'd love to see how. 

I did experience some gender confusion throughout - I would be pressed to determine which qualities the N was assigning to which gender if I was quizzed on it as well - which gender the N their selves was.  That being said I don't think that was important - rather maybe that was to be the point - perhaps the whole is some metaphor about gender confusion?  Mcuh of it seems to point that way if you are looking.  The "We" if anything was the pronoun most bothersome