9 hours ago
Very clear concept. The way our priorities and fears change as we age, and though they may look the same (they're mostly afraid of the "night"), we fear the same things for different reasons.
The childhood line seems to reference the fictional things that children often claim to be afraid of: ghosts, ghouls, supernatural creatures. But ultimately the fear is of that which they don't know and can't protect themselves from, which can be applied to more realistic childhood fears too. Children have minimal knowledge and minimal control.
The line about youth is one I struggled to interpret. I'm not sure what the host of silver sheep in the land of the moon is. If the ambiguity is intentional, I'd recommend sharpening the imagery in a more unique way. If it means something specific and the reference/metaphor went over my head, forgive me.
Mid life is interesting - what is the soon coming dawn? Old age? It sounds like mid-life is afraid of the dawn waking them up from their dreams of the past, but I think it could be worded better. My initial read was that the dawn itself was dreaming of the past while hiding from the future, which confused me at first because the dawn is described as soon-coming (so does this dawn represent the past or the future?). I think this could be fixed with a couple punctuation/word-choice edits. I like the idea of mid-life having a fear of the past rather than a fear of the future, distinctly different than the other three stages described. Maybe it's shame, regret, aching nostalgia, or grief. I'd like to see it a bit more specific, though.
The old age section is clear. The elderly, like children, are once again afraid of the "night." They once again lack knowledge and control, not knowing what will come of them but knowing they cannot prevent it. I like this ending - they're afraid of the dark too, but for a reason much more real than boogiemen and ghosts.
The childhood line seems to reference the fictional things that children often claim to be afraid of: ghosts, ghouls, supernatural creatures. But ultimately the fear is of that which they don't know and can't protect themselves from, which can be applied to more realistic childhood fears too. Children have minimal knowledge and minimal control.
The line about youth is one I struggled to interpret. I'm not sure what the host of silver sheep in the land of the moon is. If the ambiguity is intentional, I'd recommend sharpening the imagery in a more unique way. If it means something specific and the reference/metaphor went over my head, forgive me.
Mid life is interesting - what is the soon coming dawn? Old age? It sounds like mid-life is afraid of the dawn waking them up from their dreams of the past, but I think it could be worded better. My initial read was that the dawn itself was dreaming of the past while hiding from the future, which confused me at first because the dawn is described as soon-coming (so does this dawn represent the past or the future?). I think this could be fixed with a couple punctuation/word-choice edits. I like the idea of mid-life having a fear of the past rather than a fear of the future, distinctly different than the other three stages described. Maybe it's shame, regret, aching nostalgia, or grief. I'd like to see it a bit more specific, though.
The old age section is clear. The elderly, like children, are once again afraid of the "night." They once again lack knowledge and control, not knowing what will come of them but knowing they cannot prevent it. I like this ending - they're afraid of the dark too, but for a reason much more real than boogiemen and ghosts.