Yesterday, 05:18 AM
On second reading, but still before opening the spoiler, I found this quite entertaining - in large part from imagining the rest of the story: what came before, what was likely to come after. The four characters (Elia, Anna, Carmilla, and Odo) are defined, those offstage (Carmilla and Odo) by implication as well as description.
There are high-quality lines, the kind that have come down (for example) from Shakespeare and become commonplaces. There are also many that are by inversions clumsy made; IP is a five-edged sword.
One thing I noticed was that while there were quite a few variants of strict IP - few were particularly bothersome, just added a little spice - the variant stresses on the names stuck out. Is "Anna" stressed on the first or second syllable, and - more significantly - is it e-LIE-ah, EH-lee-ah, or e-lee-AH? Same, I think, with Carmilla. Those, I think, should be invariant in meter, sort of like tent pegs anchoring the rest.
Would I read the whole implied work? Amazons are always a draw, but time seems so short these days... probably not. My loss, though.
There are high-quality lines, the kind that have come down (for example) from Shakespeare and become commonplaces. There are also many that are by inversions clumsy made; IP is a five-edged sword.
One thing I noticed was that while there were quite a few variants of strict IP - few were particularly bothersome, just added a little spice - the variant stresses on the names stuck out. Is "Anna" stressed on the first or second syllable, and - more significantly - is it e-LIE-ah, EH-lee-ah, or e-lee-AH? Same, I think, with Carmilla. Those, I think, should be invariant in meter, sort of like tent pegs anchoring the rest.
Would I read the whole implied work? Amazons are always a draw, but time seems so short these days... probably not. My loss, though.
Non-practicing atheist