Consciousness Entering the Room

[tmanzano]

I think some people miss each other
by fractions, not oceans
or years–

not dramatic misunderstandings
from films

Just small alterations

A sentence said differently

Too much eye contact
or not enough

Someone laughs harder than usual
because for a moment
they forget to monitor themselves

Someone beautiful believes
they are difficult to love

Someone ordinary
mistakes ease for impossibility

I keep thinking about that girl from junior high

How easy it was
to exist around her

I had already decided
nothing would happen

So my personality moved freely
Like a dog let off a leash

I said stupid things

Interrupted myself

Told stories that wandered nowhere

I never edited my laughter
into something more acceptable

And because of that
she met me

Not the version arranging silverware
inside his mind trying to be seen

Just me

Or at least
the closest thing to it

I did not understand then
that attraction sometimes grows best
in rooms where nobody is trying to earn it

I wonder how many people
have unknowingly sat beside the love of their life

At bars

In classrooms

Near vending machines

In the ten quiet minutes before work begins

...but convenience intervened

or shame

or somebody became aware
of themselves too early

Maybe that is all heartbreak really is–

consciousness entering the room