7 hours ago
(7 hours ago)JohnS Wrote: A million miles of searchingHi, John, this reads smoothing and successfully evokes an inexplainable yearning. It allows a nonjudgmental comment on human insanity. I only had issue with one line:
has brought me here,
past the icy fringe of outer rings,
past moons and stars,
to rest my vessel where your gravity ends.
And there you are,
a smear of blue and improbable green,
wrapped in breath so thin
I marvel that anything inside it dares to dream.
I've studied a thousand worlds
from pock-marked rocks to acid clouds and iron plains
and none of them do this thing you do: radiate.
Not with flame. With something I can’t explain.
I have mapped your poles and latitudes,
I've watched the lights you string along your coasts at night,
heard you argue about how to divide a thing
and then call it your own.
I've heard all the thoughts you launch into the void —
those urgent, beautiful, ridiculous dispatches about love,
and sport,
and the price of bread.
I confess I don't know what to feel.
My people gave up feeling long ago —
we reasoned our way past it —
yet here I hover, instruments gone quiet,
studying a species barely born but builds cathedrals
and makes war
and weeps at music it composed itself.
I should move on.
There are other systems to study.
I have the data I came for.
But I linger in the dark above your clouds,
the way you linger over something beautiful,
afraid that if you look away too long,
it will be gone.
"studying a species barely born but builds cathedrals"
maybe change either but to that or builds to building.
Thanks for posting.

