data

[matsunosuperfan]

I have a bad habit of editing while the paint is still wet:

I have married
a whole neighborhood
in subsidy. A good wife
has been married
like that before, whole
blocks given over
to the veil.

If I go the city blocks,
their moods cause me
such grief

they do not
drink of the marriage
glass they do not
eat my gift

I painted after
them a still-life
of pheasants / unworked
on the table
a gift to witness it
wooden like trees before
they came to me in marriage.
———————————
Original, old version:


I have married
a whole neighborhood
in subsidy. A good wife
has been married
like that before, whole
blocks given over
to the veil.

If I go the city blocks,
their moods cause me
such grief 

they do
not drink of the marriage
glass they do not
eat my gift

I painted after
them a still-life
pheasants / unworked
on the table
to witness it
wooden like trees before
we built our house.

solid edits. I dig the vibe of this. often I struggle with such a short line and this one is no exception but it's doing a lot to win me over <3