Unpredictable

[JohnS]

Hey, John, thanks for reading. If you could point out the inversions and padding that would be great, sometimes when I've read my own work a hundred times I don't hear it anymore and what bothers one reader might slip by another. And somehow if more than one critic is annoyed by something it becomes more urgent to fix it. 
As far as content I probably can't blame the form as much as my own lack of focus, we'll see if a poem comes out of it. 

I think they've probably been mentioned before - "hand-dyed", tight and taut in S1, "are returned". 
It's difficult to avoid padding or, perhaps, having to use the not quite right word here and there to satisfy the form. I'm totally new at poetry, but I have this issue all the time when writing song lyrics.