Unpredictable

[wasellajam]

This is a really well executed exercise in meter and rhyme. 

I wonder if the effort to maintain that hasn't limited your options so that we see irrelevant content and, to a small extent, Yoda speak, creeping in. It'll take some skill and wit to bring out the full potential of this idea, but worth it I think.

You've had excellent critique from others more experienced than me, so I'll leave it there.

Hey, John, thanks for reading. If you could point out the inversions and padding that would be great, sometimes when I've read my own work a hundred times I don't hear it anymore and what bothers one reader might slip by another. And somehow if more than one critic is annoyed by something it becomes more urgent to fix it.
As far as content I probably can't blame the form as much as my own lack of focus, we'll see if a poem comes out of it.