Bodies at Daybreak

[matsunosuperfan]

This is great crit, fully co-sign. I, too, was excited by all the language-making and compelling figuration, but found myself pretty frustratingly unmoored at some point. There's a risk of so much pell-mell abstraction beginning to feel a bit aimless. Would love just a bit more scaffolding for "sense." And a few well-placed moments of more direct, plain, declarative language would go a long way to providing balance and structure and ontological direction.

(EDIT: I am new here, sorry for bad formatting - I meant this to be a reply to dukealien's excellent feedback)