Post Lightning

[Bunx]

Post Lightning 

Sometimes I replace 
"I don't care"
with silence,
because I forgot how to share.

An aura of shame,
outlined by fear
protected by pills
that hold back tears.

Catalyzed by 
hidden events in my life
that happened
during trying times. 

My vision went 
beyond comprehension.

Portraits morphing in jailcells 
to changing hospital walls.
Days after being tazed 
inside my former living room. 

Watched from the 
body cams perspective 
a nightmare
recalled differently.

Seeing myself confused, fainting 
down worn blue stairs.

Cops picked the loose
shocking metal from skin.

Is this the cost of sin?
The consequence of miss-prescription?
I don't deserve these sensations.

It's not that I lack empathy,
it's not that I don't care.

Mourning the days listening 
to friends complain about their day
answering compassion's call.

I'd rather write about love
then hospital walls.