Tattarrattat When I Vote

[alonso ramoran]

Deor Ana Log,

This is a difficult piece to critique. It reads as complete nonsense, which, I understand, must be intended. What I can offer you so far in feedback is an interpretation. 

To me, it reads as the stream of consciousness of someone who is mentally unsound and is going to vote in some political election. The idea is ripe to contain with potential for social commentary, but nothing is really done with it, if that is the idea. I would argue even a mad person (your speaker refers to himself as mad) has some coherence of internal logic and I would think my readers at least deserve that much if the poem is choosing that kind of speaker. It also sounds like someone having a stroke.

Do I, like, look like I do? I have no idea
madam, wow Why do some sentences begin in lower case? 
split lips! Over my head; there's nothing else in the poem I can at least connect this to besides a repetition
did ava repaper civil marram did Marram? Madam? Mad? Mom? What?
ere noon, mom
did ah a... reviver put-up “deified”?
Dammit, I’m mad
Dog, as a devil deified
lived as a god deified... god... I'm trying...
Dammit, I’m mad
“deified”?
put-up reviver…
a ha did mom?
noon ere 
did marram; civil repaper? What is"repaper"?
Ava did split lips!
wow madam
Do I, like, look like I do?
*rise to vote sir*

There's an idea here somewhere, otherwise I'm not sure why you would choose to write it. I would try writing it out plainly, and see what sticks, examine where you would have room for metaphor, imagery, irony, etc.