Yesterday, 06:32 PM
(Yesterday, 02:38 AM)JohnS Wrote: [quote="wasellajam" pid='280182' dateline='1776355974']Hi, John, thanks for coming back. Both interesting insights for me to consider. S1 was meant as an insight into MawMaw but it may not be working that way, good point. And this is the first time those two lines have been so close, I'll take a look at them. Thanks for reading and posting!
From Norway With Caraway (NaPM edit 3.1) (hen, alonso, John S)
When we cleared Mawmaw's house
even the closet shelves were adorned,
edged with flat bands of crocheted bells.
She was from Norway, her father lost at sea.
Her daughter was steeped in ancestral tea:
sleek enameled silver, intricate
tatting starched into bowls, salt
laden homemade stews laced
with cream, thinly sliced brown bread topped
with a golden yolk, a drape of anchovy.
December’s chill brought a baking marathon;
Alice echoed her mom with a new sweet
every day, aging cookie tins packed
and stacked on Hardanger table runners.
One year, missing some Christmas favorites
her family wouldn't touch, we revived
a day-long recipe, a loaf of caraway
seeded meat in aspic, the start
of our late month lunches together,
her face lit with youth.
Now the recipe is mine but today, checking
the spelling of Kalvesus, all I could find
was the Swedish Kalvsylta, no caraway.
Yes, I like this.
The first stanza still worries me a bit, except for the last line, because all it adds is that she was into adorning the place, which is ok, but the remaining poem centres on cooking.
As a lyricist I'd love you to add the last line of the first stamnza to the second stanza:
"Mawmaw was from Norway, her father lost at sea,
her daughter was steeped in ancestral tea"
Very melodic couplet!
Hope this helps.
Nope, looking at previous edits those lines have been adjacent before but also with a break, I'll have a look.