To Shut Up Or Not To Shut Up

[wasellajam]

So, I've been wondering why it is that so many members, new and old, check in on the site every day or so but don't post anything at all. I, of all people, understand being active then inactive but I'm having trouble understanding why members who like the site enough to read it don't post when they visit. It's sure set up with places for a quick comment or mini "poem" and even a workshop where full blown critique isn't necessary, just I liked this line because, I didn't like that line because. But that's not what this thread is about. 

I've been thinking about why it seems to be so hard to get in the habit of posting critiques after a few reads of a workshop poem, even in basic. This has been discussed since the site began so obviously it's nothing new but I'd love to hear from current members in today's world. Do we not care enough to post? Do we care too much to post? These two comments caught my eye recently, so with permission to bring them up from the arse:

from Bunx

Not that it is a great excuse for me. I got pigpen up on my brother's old PC with the goal of giving crit and posting more. It's been a little interpersonally embarrassing how many times I've given crit then deleted, started an idea then deleted. I used to always prescribe to the whole if you don't have anything important to say than don't say anything. By this logic I am silent more often than not.

I wonder if anyone else feels similarly?

The other issue I have is having things fly over my head resulting in imposter syndrome. I feel like I need to understand the core of poem before I can hope to help make it better. Again not trying to justify myself but trying to list the barriers I have been running into as of late.

from milo

I always used to worry that I would come across as a snooty bastard or what not but in the end - it's say what you can or just shut up and shutting up is boring.

I'd love to post a poll here but I'm afraid you all will click and run. If you've read this please take a minute more to comment. Time is precious but we all we waste plenty of it, what's one more minute? Thanks -ella

Heavy on both comments you reposted. But I'm learning that it is equally important, when giving feedback, to be transparent when a poem's meaning is eluding me because that could be important information to the writer, that they might have to write something clearer. So it is equally important to speak on what I know, as well as what I know that I don't know, if that makes sense lol.

It's funny, I also used to be "afraid" of looking at the "Whos' Online" page after posting a poem to see who is looking at a poem I just posted, just in case someone (most of the time it's milo) is also looking at who's online. Because then I'd think that they're thinking this person is so self-obsessed with checking if their work is being read and that they're only giving feedback when they have something to post (half-true). Which, yeah. Well, I'm now just letting myself check and allowing it to be a part of what brings me back to the site, in the hopes I will summon the energy to give more feedback and mingle with members more. It's a great site for writing growth.

I'm with you on posting even when I can't get it. I try, I really do, I'll check definitions snd spelling and search engines but sometimes, not rarely, I just can't get there. Time to post, by then I've read it enough that something will probably be useful and if not, nothing lost. At the very least the poet knows that even if four people got what was meant this one didn't. They don't even have to give a hoot, it's an internet critique, no one is obligated to follow advice, good or bad.

Sometimes we think too much about how we are perceived instead of what we're here for.

And though the Who's Online can be used to see what a specific member is reading, I'm probably not the only one that uses it to read random threads, it's different with every click so I read the list and pick one knowing the list will be refreshed when I'm done. Just fun reading.

So for Bunx, I'm either Queen of Imposter Syndrome or Queen Imposter, but if I'm going to seem a fool this site has a reputation for tolerating, even loving them as long as they're trying.

For milo, I agree, shutting up is boring, simple as that.