Morning Star
#18
This is how I would edit Morning Star; without adding any lines. Feel free to use my recommendation is your own writing. I have bolded words I rearranged.
Morning Star


Jove grows restless now
and now wanders through the garden
taking peace in all that he has 
made

as beetles dig beneath the ground beneath
to find his face
in every outstretched eye of every tuber

and all along the path the , leaves of figs
and dragon-fruit call out his name
in whispers caught by elephant ears

but what was it that Michael said 
when asked by Jove, Tell me a tale
and Michael told a Gods tale of Gods:

A tale of Nymphs, frolicking at play,
and Titans - mighty in their strength,
of climbing Gods and falling Gods 

and how they glowed in triumphly
of how they reveled in the fray
and in the end of how they failed.

Jove was captured with delight
so he declared, "I will be one of those"
and you will disobey and ; quake with fear


and Michael sheepishly agreed
to call him God but after all
the elbow cannot disobey the ear

so Jove forgave and placed him
back upon the shelf
and hid his form behind the morning star

leaving him to wander / by himself.
And somehow Jove has come upon the clay -
and here is man demanding to be (made).

Thank you for sharing, this poem is memorable to me. - Deor Ana Log
You Spend To Much Time On Being Right
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Messages In This Thread
Morning Star - by milo - 01-12-2026, 02:50 AM
RE: Morning Star - by busker - 01-12-2026, 03:37 PM
RE: Morning Star - by milo - 01-13-2026, 12:03 AM
RE: Morning Star - by Mark A Becker - 01-19-2026, 03:07 AM
RE: Morning Star - by milo - 01-19-2026, 03:49 AM
RE: Morning Star - by Magpie - 02-20-2026, 05:55 PM
RE: Morning Star - by milo - 02-21-2026, 05:43 AM
RE: Morning Star - by rowens - 02-20-2026, 11:41 PM
RE: Morning Star - by dukealien - 02-21-2026, 05:36 AM
RE: Morning Star - by ilovewomenandbeer - 03-17-2026, 04:24 PM
RE: Morning Star - by milo - 03-22-2026, 07:31 AM
RE: Morning Star - by ilovewomenandbeer - 03-26-2026, 11:49 PM
RE: Morning Star - by Truerenigma - 03-26-2026, 10:25 AM
RE: Morning Star - by milo - 03-27-2026, 02:02 AM
RE: Morning Star - by wasellajam - 03-27-2026, 12:47 AM
RE: Morning Star - by Michael Anon - 04-14-2026, 09:19 PM
RE: Morning Star - by milo - 04-15-2026, 05:33 AM
RE: Morning Star - by Deor Ana Log - Yesterday, 01:32 AM



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