04-13-2026, 11:27 PM
(04-07-2026, 07:53 AM)jaw_me Wrote: The alliteration on first line is really pretty, I think someone already said this butAll of the “the’s” throughout the first few lines make it feel very choppy in my opinion
you could make the poem a bit more metrical, maybe something like this
Contentment comes not in the catch
but in the breathless chase, the hope
that never dies. In how we rise
I also think the enjambment here would be really interesting.
Then bringing up in “how we rise” highlights the rhyme a bit more imo, whether that's a
good thing honestly depends on your intention. Then I feel like the 'new' between next
and dawn breaks the flow a bit.
Off Topic, but I don't think anyone can really tell whether a poem is good or not,the
best we can really say is if whether we like it or not

