04-08-2026, 11:03 AM
Since this is short form, experiment with cutting modifier/relational phrases. One that “springs” to mind is “of that season”. Then, look for words you can cut. Are you doing the equivalent of “pencil of my aunt” instead of “my aunt’s pencil” anywhere? You can always add back in if it changes the poem.
One thing I notice: incubate eccentrically. The stop of the t in incubate happens toward the front of the mouth, and that makes it harder for the voice to pick up with the mid-mouth k sound in the beginning of eccentrically. But maybe that is just hard for my accent.
Not sure eccentric is the word to use here, your imagery in the poem elsewhere seems steady, dependable, a bit ruthlessly so.
I jam with your sentiment expressed in this poem. I take it to mean, you do what you love and you do it for free (in the sense you’re not beholden to others’ consumption or reaction - not in the sense of it not being valued or valuable).
One thing I notice: incubate eccentrically. The stop of the t in incubate happens toward the front of the mouth, and that makes it harder for the voice to pick up with the mid-mouth k sound in the beginning of eccentrically. But maybe that is just hard for my accent.
Not sure eccentric is the word to use here, your imagery in the poem elsewhere seems steady, dependable, a bit ruthlessly so.
I jam with your sentiment expressed in this poem. I take it to mean, you do what you love and you do it for free (in the sense you’re not beholden to others’ consumption or reaction - not in the sense of it not being valued or valuable).