falling for your bluff.

[jeanelyking]

Okay, so this is a lot for the Basic Critique Forum but I think you can handle it and I wanted to post promptly before you changed anything.  These are just my notes as a reader, take them or leave them. Thanks for posting this, I enjoyed reading it.

hi wasella,

thanks for the welcome !  

i can’t lie i did get carried away with repeatedly editing haha, i have a habit of doing that with my written pieces lol. i’ll definitely give what you linked a read for the future.

thank you also for the valuable feedback . in terms of the “cranes in our sky” part, it was sort of a nod to one of my favourite songs, Cranes in the Sky by Solange Knowles (i’d recommend giving it a listen if you haven’t already!); i felt like the meaning behind the song tied in well here and i often like to reference songs i enjoy in things i write, but can understand how it would be confusing without that context.

you’ve given me many things to consider, i’m sure i’ll be making more edits soon (properly this time lol)