No Outlet (new edit 4)

[wasellajam]

No Outlet (edit 3) (Magpie, milo, John B, P)

In April when the trees began to leaf
clandestine bulbs erupted into bloom
and garden plans conspired to coalesce;
we woke to bask in sweatered sunlit breeze.

Then June’s congested traffic clogged the road,
contracting an already narrow trail;
reversal called for small repeated moves,
a u-turn now a convoluted dance.

September brought a pause as hubbub dimmed,
the boat rack stacked, canoes and kayaks stowed..
Tree by tree a blazing patchwork clad
the silhouette of mountains poised for sleep.

Now Winter settles, windows edged with frost,
its snow tires tightly wrapped in chains to slow
the likely skid that forfeits all control.
An eagle circles opened ice and dives.

No Outlet  (edit 2) (John B, milo, P)

In April when the trees began to leaf
and garden plans conspired to coalesce,
the daze of hibernation fell away;
we woke to bask in sweatered  sunlit breeze.

Then June swept in and filled in every gap,
the narrow road was squeezed from either side;
reversal called for small repeated moves,
a u-turn now a convoluted dance.

September brought a pause as hubbub dimmed,
the boatrack stacked, canoes and kayaks tarped.
Tree by tree a blazing patchwork clad
the silhouette of mountains poised for sleep.

Now Winter settles, windows edged with frost;
its tires are draped with chains in hopes to stop
the likely skid that forfeits all control.
An eagle circles opened ice and dives.


No Outlet  edit 1.8  (S4 still to go) (P. and John B.)

In April, green a promised glow,
the hibernating year-round folk
emerge unbundled, give a wave
and catch the still-chilled sunlit breeze.

Then June arrives and neighbors clog
the road, no room to turn around;
with many moves a car can squeeze
between the rocks and trees to flee.

September comes, just diehards stay
and bear the weekend warriors
who visit seeking blazing views
of mountain forests poised for sleep.

Now Winter slowing to a stop,
its tires clad in chains for grip
demands an effort unfulfilled
to slide its way to anywhere.


No Outlet

In April when the trees begin to leaf
the year-round denizens emerge
and greet each other, waking up
to bask in sweatered sunlit breeze.

Then June arrives and neighbors clog
the road, no room to turn around,
in many moves a car can just
about reverse its route to flee.

September comes, the hubbub dims
except for weekend warriors
anticipating blazing views
of mountain forests poised for sleep.

Now Winter slowing to a stop,
its tires clad in chains for grip
demands an effort unfulfilled
to slide its way to anywhere.

Your imagery really inspires me. Reading your work also helps me condense my own imagery and think more carefully about how much each line needs to carry.
I especially liked the line about the u-turn — I almost feel a pause there when reading it. I wondered if something like “waltz” instead of “dance” might sharpen the movement even more, but the image already works really well.

Thanks so much for reading and commenting. The idea to use a specific dance is a good one, I'll certainly think about it.