she smiles - edit4

[dukealien]

she smiles
and feeling so relieved for her
in that brightened moment
I start to cry except
it’s gone before my tears can well

then returning terror locks
her features tight
as she finds she cannot
understand or put a name
to anything she sees

smile lights again
dove-like
I want to turn away
before the next fright
in this cursed alternation

but I can’t
this is not damnation
since it’s neither endless
nor deserved

edit3;

she smiles
and feeling so relieved for her
in that warm swift moment
I start to cry except
it’s gone before my tears can well

then returning terror locks
her features tight
knowing only that she cannot
understand or put a name
to anything she sees

smile lights again
dove-like
I want to turn away
before the next fright
in this cursed alternation
but I can’t

not damnation
since neither deserved
nor endless


edit2;

she smiles
and feeling so relieved for her
in that warm swift moment
I must cry except
it’s gone before my tears can well

then returning terror locks
her features tight
knowing only that she cannot
understand or put a name
to anything she sees

blessed smile again
alights dove-like
I want to turn away
before next fright
but can’t

alternation
not damnation
since neither deserved
nor endless


edit1;

she smiles
and feeling so relieved for her
in that warm swift moment
I must cry except
it’s gone before my tears can well

then returning terror locks
her features tight
knowing only that she cannot
understand or put a name
to anything she sees

dementia fades into
waking unconsciousness
with its peaceful smile
until unfocused mindfulness–
sight without sense–
returns in fear

not damnation
since neither deserved
nor endless

original version;

she smiles
and feeling so relieved
in that warm swift moment
I must cry except
it’s gone before my tears can well

then terror strains and locks
her features back with knowing
only that she cannot understand
or put a name to anything she sees

dementia’s not damnation
for it fades
into waking unconsciousness
with its heartbreaking smile
until tension
crippled mindfulness
and fears return

not damnation
since neither deserved
nor endless