Window to the Universe

[Mic]

Why am I here? 
What is my purpose
In a universe
So big
Its presence
Forces me to my knees
 -> starting with questions is very difficult because it promises that the rest of the poem will answer that question in a satisfying way, and moreimportantly that the poem will answer it better than the reader does. I think the second stanza has a more interesting point of entry to the world

I sit in a field
Where the wind
Murmurs in the grass  -> why the choice to personify wind, birds and trees? They get progressively closer to the ground (and the speaker), with wind being the highest and trees being the lowest, but otherwise they seem disconnected. The formatting also adds to that, with birds and trees being in the same place in their lines relatively, but wind being at the end of a line with a line in between the other two.
And the birds laugh
And the trees applaud, -> what is the reasoning behind the choice of emotion for each thing to portray? Why are they reacting to the speaker like that? 
All of them
A patient audience  -> what do they get out of watching the speaker? Do they enjoy it? are they waiting for the speaker to realise something? 
As I question my place -> what are they questioning? what made them feel like they had to question their place? what are they wanting the answer to be? what do they need the answer to be?
In this world;
They don’t pry
 
After a while
I look up
And the stars cry out in the silent night -> cry implies desperation, but the rest of the poem doesnt imply the stars are desperate
And ask me to listen
 
They say
The beauty of the universe
Would pass quietly by
Without me. -> might have been more impactful if the speaker came to this realisation on their own. It's a very introspective thought
They tell me
That I was one of them
Long ago
 -> what does that change for the speaker? Does it change how they view themselves? will they act differently moving forward, having learned this? Why is this revelation significant?
 
I see my reflection
In them
As I look up,
My eyes windows -> implies something looking to the speaker when the speaker has the primary active role
Illuminating my heart -> not sure how windows can illuminate something
With the moon’s light -> the speaker was talking to the stars
 
And I cry
Because they are right
 
And the heavens
Cry with me -> i like the synchronisation with the universe
In their own way
 
I think
 
But I don’t cry
For too long
And how could I
Because when I look around
The universe takes away
My breath
Once again.  -> the universe makes them cry, then makes them stop crying? Seems cyclical. Or like an abusive/lovebombing relationship

 
I'm pretty nitpicky here but I really enjoyed the poem. It was a good read - it had a lot of great ideas that I think could use some expansion and focus. Its a very abstract concept. I think a more concretely human perspective could help bring it nuance, like exploring what the relationship the speaker has with the universe, or if we knew more about the speaker and their world view, how the experience changed them. Maybe making the emotions the speaker experiences more vivid - it's an emotional experience, and it's hard to feel what the speaker is feeling with them with the current word choices. 

Excited to see how it develops!

Cheers,
Mic