Four Quintillion Blows - edit

[wasellajam]

Hi, duke, I enjoy this every time, a reminder there is always another way to say something. I like the partial rhyme, flattens out the end of each strophe in a way sparks my interest. A few notes: 

Four Quintillion Blows
Strong title, catches my attention.

Microscopic hammers falling
make no dent, leave us recalling
carpet-bombing rearranging
landscapes into silent wastes.
Strong, interesting images

Blanketed and suffocated
under white, anticipated,
interlocking, light as feathers,
crystal flakes for blurring hours.
I like interlocking but otherwise so simple compared to S1, i"m guessing you have some reason for "light as a feather" but it hasn't come to me.

Like a judo master throwing
his opponent, all this snowing
uses our own speed to smash us
into sidewalks with no mat.
again, strong and novel image

One quintillion satin hammers–
pretty, pratfall coccyx-slammers–
make one inch of peaceful snowfall
bright in sunlight: I’ll stay home.

"One quintillion satin hammers–
pretty, pratfall coccyx-slammers–"
The most enjoyable lines I've said in a long time, thanks for that.

Thanks for posting it.