01-25-2026, 02:59 AM
I found this to be a well told tale with good pacing.
The part I liked least was:
Then you fell face-first into sin.
Happened to fast for me to catch.
I was half expecting something about infidelity, but it appeared to be a lot of other things which wouldn’t be described as “falling into sin” which suggests “giving in to temptation”.
To echo Milo’s point, it does read like prose in many places, but some editing should fix that.
The part I liked least was:
Then you fell face-first into sin.
Happened to fast for me to catch.
I was half expecting something about infidelity, but it appeared to be a lot of other things which wouldn’t be described as “falling into sin” which suggests “giving in to temptation”.
To echo Milo’s point, it does read like prose in many places, but some editing should fix that.