Stars are brighter in the dark

[milo]

I gave this path my steps, my time, my days
with books and prayers. The signs seen everywhere. 
A cosmic dance in time and beat aligned,
yet songs were not created to repeat.
They slowly fade to shadows of their past.
The lights then dimmed, the sweetest sounds grew still.
I felt a tug to earth, a spiral down, 
and looking up while silence made a sound.


I sat and stared. The monsters stared back too.
Their eyes reflected deeper truths to me.
The air is thinner on those lofty plains
with feelings which are limited and fake.
I'm left to pick up pieces heaven let go
that fell like quiet rain. I'm soaked again.
I'll take these times of quiet rage rehearsed 
to blaze a darker path concealed from all.

I thought i had this creature crucified 
It hid from me with venom in it's eyes.
Their words fell sweeter than a summer breeze
but really blew like barren winter gales 
They told me to be grateful. Raise my vibe.
Instead of drowning in these murky tides.
It wraps me like a blanket worn and old.
I hide from you, but not this inner cold. 



*This was written more for meter practice, but I tried to convey a deeply personal message as well

This is a pretty excellent example of blank verse.  Somebody already called out your one anapestic substitution but other than that, meter is spot on.  The metaphor is pretty well-drawn, there is plenty of imagery, it stays on a pretty consistent course, I would argue there is a "turn" as well. Line breaks are all pretty good.

I am going to have to think pretty long and hard to come up with any way and maybe there is no point - it may be at a point where it says what you want how you want in an effective way.  Let me know if there were any particular spost you were looking for feedback on and I can try to go in that direction but, to me, this looks pretty much complete.

Thanks