01-10-2026, 04:37 AM
(01-09-2026, 11:23 AM)milo Wrote: Adam and Apollo
The lion wore his massive mantle I feel like "wore a mantle of sun" could make it more intriguing cause "sun" is already massive
like the sun
and so they called him "Apollo" Nice, Lion and Apollo make good sense
as he strode through fields
of poppies, monarch heavy, this makes me feel like he is a monarch butterfly. If that was intented, very nice, the poppies symbolize dream and opium-like tranquility. Together with the heavy butterflies he feels like a swirling beauty, combined with a burden.
and laydown with the lambs. "among the lambs" could sound more iconic.
Adam walks along the river
lion-headed; ageless fool.
Was it just a dream, the garden? Nice, would ask myself the same if I was thrown out of paradise.
Up ahead, Death swims -
new-born, pink-bottomed cherub
frolics in the river, as Adam
strides to meet his old friend I really enjoy your presentation and use of words in this stanza.