grapefruit II

[David_Kaine]

grapefruit II

i pour sugar on grapefruit (ive recently become aware how often I begin sentences and poems with 'I', it may help get the flow going and the brain working but theres almost always a more interesting way to begin)
i don't like the bitter taste
the sweetness covers it up
but it's still there (you must like grapefruit though to continue eating it, unless theres an expectation placed on you to eat it, lets see where this goes)

with every mouthful
i add more sugar (there is a real determination here to eat the grapefruit)
once isn't enough (its sad because at some point it just wont hold more sugar)
it's still bitter underneath 

that's why i don't like grapefruit (you have clearly given an effort to like it)
so why do i still cling to you
open wide when offered 
craving sucrose 

your sweetness smothers (this line throws the analogy for me because you find sugar somewhere else to add to the grapefruit, yet from the grapefruit here you recognize the sweetness in itself, being offered)
the hurt you gave me (I would probably like to feel the grapefruit hurt me a little earlier in the poem, not just 'I dont like it' bit 'it hurts me'
but the aftertaste
lingers (not to mention the sugar rush/and crash after each mouthful)

when you leave again (when you finish the grapefruit?)
i'm left eating peel
mouth full of pith
still wanting more (this is the question here, why do I cling to you, still open)

I do like the comparison to eating a grapefruit, its a nice study, but I think you can make it punch a little more in the gut, I hope this is helpful in some way