Adam and Apollo

[milo]

i love the imagery! you can really understand the big picture, the last few lines are a little choppy and i think there would be more agreement in the words if there was a nicer flow. for example, the "up ahead, death swims" is a little odd, though i like the juxtaposition of death with the next part- i think instead of "up ahead" a more whimsical introduction would fit well! great poem!

Hello

Thanks so much for reading and commenting, I am glad that most of it worked for you, I will look with an eye toward flow with future revisions as well as perhaps to add a little whimsy

Thanks!