Stars are brighter in the dark

[David_Kaine]

I gave this path my steps, my time, my days
with books and prayers. The signs seen everywhere. 
A cosmic dance in time and beat aligned, (this line confuses me, time and beat)
yet songs were not created to repeat.
They slowly fade to shadows of their past.
The lights then dimmed, the sweetest sounds grew still.
I felt a tug to earth, a spiral down, 
and looking up while silence made a sound.(I like how the last two lines rhyme but not the rest, it could be subtle if the last stanza didnt use so much of it.)


I sat and stared. The monsters stared back too.
Their eyes reflected deeper truths to me.
The air is thinner on those lofty plains
with feelings which are limited and fake.
I'm left to pick up pieces heaven let go
im LEFT to PICK up PIEces HEAven let GO (this is the only spot my meter reader tripped)
that fell like quiet rain. I'm soaked again.
I'll take these times of quiet rage rehearsed (relatable)
to blaze a darker path concealed from all.

I thought i had this creature crucified 
It hid from me with venom in it's eyes.
Their words fell sweeter than a summer breeze
but really blew like barren winter gales 
They told me to be grateful. Raise my vibe. (Raise my vibe fits the meter but comes abruptly, almost out of place)
Instead of drowning in these murky tides.
It wraps me like a blanket worn and old.
I hide from you, but not this inner cold. (Did you intend to make this last stanza have slant end rhymes but not the other stanzas?)

As a different kind of practice I suggest writing this out as a paragraph and seeing if you can connect the longer sentences more effectively.  Line breaks are important but sometimes get in the way.

*This was written more for meter practice, but I tried to convey a deeply personal message as well

Im not sure i understood the message but I like your descriptive word choices, I wish I could be more helpful.  Thats probably a good thing