Through Toils (revised)

[whisperer]

Hello there and thanks for posting.  I was recently discussing the function and purpose of titles in poems and it got me thinking - does your title tell too much here?  Would it be better to just name it the toil or the burden or whatnot and let the reader arrive at the meaning in the poem?

I looked into the world within.
I scoured and searched landscapes,
walked over worn out paths
and picked at over healed scars.
I kicked at half built houses
and stirred up clouds of dust.

so, first line, at least one of your "in" is superfluous and possibly "world" as well. Could it be "I looked within?" or "I looked within the world?"
on the second line, you certainly don't need to start with "I" again, the reader will remember from the first line and it is redundant as well as visually unappealing in this instant.  I usually have a rule that if you are using 2 verbs to do the job of one, you are using the wrong verb.  In this case, "scoured" is strong enough so searched just weakens it and can be trimmed.
third, I think "over" weakens it
fourth, I am not sure about "over's purpose here.  If it is "over-healed" there should be a hyphen.  I am not that familiar with the term but I like it here.
Fifth line, the problem is with "at".  Kicking at a house does nothing.  (well, maybe the problem is kicked depending on what you are trying to convey"  For me it works fine as "I kicked half-built houses"

I poured out everything from my cup
and left myself worn and dry.
Was it the fires of anger
that burned these lands?
Did this world fall apart 
at the works of my own hands?

Additional trimming through here might make the reading stronger.  Consider "I poured out from my cup".  you could argue, that does not convey the same message and I would agree but, let's face it, "everything" is hyperbole anyway and the spareness is better for the reader.
"worn and dry" - I debated this back and forth and you may wish to as well.  Much like my double verb suggestion, I usually make the same suggestions with double adjectives but it may work here, still something you may wish to consider.

"fires of anger" - there is a formula for bad verse that which goes "the noun of the abstract" which causes many readers to cringe (the heat of love, the bloom of youth, the rock of inspiration, etc).  Here, so as not to put off your reader, maybe just "anger's fire" would work.
"My hands" is fine, you can trim own

Too many years I've toiled
over pen and word and page.
Too many years I've wandered 
in the midst of middle age.
Yet, I've never danced 
in a pouring rain.
Nor have I felt 
the tectonic shift of pain.

It looks like you have decided to switch to rhymed verse midway through the poem.  This can be jarring and inexplicable to some reader.  A technique I have used when I would like a little rhyme interjected in a free verse poem is to offset the rhymed portion with italics.
I think "toiled over pen and page" works fine without "word"
We also introduce the concept of meta poetry here
I think "tectonic" is over dramafied.  You also have another "noun of abstraction" phrase here, might want to reconsider.

I've been stepped on,
overlooked,
tossed aside,
left with a hardening heart.
But to love like there's nothing else,
to burst wide open,
is a weight I've never held.


I never fit into a box before,
so why would I want to now?
Not rebellious. Not defiant.
But in a peaceful presence bound.

I know I wrote a lot here and I don't want you to be discouraged and think I don't like it, I do, I think you have the good bones of a working poem here.  You have a natural sense for rhythm, your sounds are good, you choose good line breaks though you do end stop every line so you may wish to consider some enjambment.

Look through it with an eye to trim and maybe to expand and strengthen the images you have.

I am looking forward to version 2

Thanks for posting

I'm glad I read all the way to the end of your post. I almost threw out all my books and pens....I'm kidding. You've given me a lot to bring back to the anvil and hammer this out some more. Thanks for taking the time to read this and leave such a detailed review. Stay tuned.....

---

I looked into the world within.                    
I scoured and searched landscapes,
walked over worn out paths
and picked at over healed scars.               This second 'over' seems unnecessary
I kicked at half built houses
and stirred up clouds of dust.
I poured out everything from my cup
and left myself worn and dry.
Was it the fires of anger
that burned these lands?
Did this world fall apart 
at the works of my own hands?        


Too many years I've toiled            is this the title?  Writing about writing is relatable, but perhaps there's more to this      
over pen and word and page.
Too many years I've wandered 
in the midst of middle age.             Middle age is hard to determine for me
Yet, I've never danced 
in a pouring rain.
Nor have I felt 
the tectonic shift of pain.    I like all the earth imagery, 


I've been stepped on,
overlooked,
tossed aside,
left with a hardening heart.        Hardened?
But to love like there's nothing else,
to burst wide open,
is a weight I've never held.                I dont understand the bursting weight 


I never fit into a box before,
so why would I want to now?  
Not rebellious. Not defiant.
But in a peaceful presence bound.   The box seems sudden, I cant tell what box you're being fit into.  I love the last line but I cant tell if the box is comforting or what even box it is.  I think overall you  dont need these last four lines, 'a weight ive never held' holds weight.

I hope this helps

Yes it does. You've given some very constructive ideas for me to consider for when I get down to another draft. Thank you for taking the time to read this and leave a review. Much appreciated