By a Meadow Gate

[milo]

Hello

Honestly, I am not great with short forms, but I did want to leave some comments, if they are of no use to you feel free to discard

By a Meadow Gate

Already, the hum, drums
heard out on the way

like some copper mill, I tolled
heating up its furnace

nodding donkeys bray
the rising of the sun

hum, drums - it is interesting because of course it summons "hum drums", initially I would say add separation to prevent the metaphor but I am not so sure, you may be gaining some efficiency by indirectly summoning them.  If not, consider, "already, the hum, the drums"

of course, it does bring to light that "out" on the second line is serving no purpose (unless I am missing it)

S2 interests me mostly because of "tolled' - once again, it immediately brings to mind "toiled" so there is an efficiency because you get the benefit of both.  "Tolled" in this case - exacted a tax on . . . I considered many direct objects here - a laborer's body, I am not sure. Of course if you initially had "tolled at" and decided to trim it, suddenly it would take on a different meaning.

I don't have much to add, the end it lost on me

Thanks for posting