Through Toils (revised)

[whisperer]

I looked into the world within.
I scoured and searched landscapes,
walked over worn out paths
and picked at over healed scars.
I kicked at half built houses
and stirred up clouds of dust.
I poured out everything from my cup
and left myself worn and dry.
Was it the fires of anger
that burned these lands?
Did this world fall apart 
at the works of my own hands?


Too many years I've toiled
over pen and word and page.
Too many years I've wandered 
in the midst of middle age.
Yet, I've never danced 
in a pouring rain.
Nor have I felt 
the tectonic shift of pain.


I've been stepped on,
overlooked,
tossed aside,
left with a hardening heart.
But to love like there's nothing else,
to burst wide open,
is a weight I've never held.


I never fit into a box before,
so why would I want to now?
Not rebellious. Not defiant.
But in a peaceful presence bound.

I looked within my world.
Scoured landscapes, 
walked worn out paths
and picked at healed scars.
Kicked half built houses
that stirred up clouds of dust.
Emptied my cup
and left myself dry.
Was it anger that burned these lands?
Did this all fall apart 
at the work of my own hands?


Too many years I've toiled
over pen and page.
Too many years I've wandered 
in the midst of middle age 
to never have danced 
in the rain. Nor been 
soaked deep by pain.


I've been stepped on,
overlooked, tossed aside,
and left with a hardened heart.
To love like there's nothing else,
is a weight I've never held.


I never fit into a box,
why would I want to now?
Not rebellious. Not defiant.
Just peaceful presence found.