12-09-2025, 09:27 AM
Hi there I am relatively new to critiquing and poetry generally, but I will try and provide some structured feedback.
This feels like the capturing of emotions as one goes through a lose either through break up or other. Maybe there is regret involved or a feeling of wanting for a second chance. I agree with Rumi it is very raw and emotional and feels present in the moment of your writing, which is reflected in the poems lack of structure and uncertainty, which can be a good thing. One thing though, I think when approaching poetry that can move others not just capture our thoughts, is to consider the way in which we transfer those ideas or thoughts. I think it is, in essence, one of the most beautiful things about poetry, that you can bring the reader to on a journey, to your view, emotion, or to a realisation.
I think a lot of the writing here has a strong personal meaning and as it comes from questions you ask yourself or answers you seek for it can seem clear for you as you put pen to paper. But it is also useful to consider how that thought is established outside the question and how the reader can follow or arrive the point you are trying to bring them.
This feels like the capturing of emotions as one goes through a lose either through break up or other. Maybe there is regret involved or a feeling of wanting for a second chance. I agree with Rumi it is very raw and emotional and feels present in the moment of your writing, which is reflected in the poems lack of structure and uncertainty, which can be a good thing. One thing though, I think when approaching poetry that can move others not just capture our thoughts, is to consider the way in which we transfer those ideas or thoughts. I think it is, in essence, one of the most beautiful things about poetry, that you can bring the reader to on a journey, to your view, emotion, or to a realisation.
I think a lot of the writing here has a strong personal meaning and as it comes from questions you ask yourself or answers you seek for it can seem clear for you as you put pen to paper. But it is also useful to consider how that thought is established outside the question and how the reader can follow or arrive the point you are trying to bring them.