11-29-2025, 06:16 AM
Hey hey guys, got a couple of things to raise --
First, it looks like Holy took the final line from the first revision of my previous sonnet in which case we should go with
Mirages of life to glimpse as a ghost
History hums, but I like now the best.
Each of us living lives, no "King" can boast
We can't change whats passed, we're cursed if not blessed
My last moment in pain, a King of glass.
The crown of man is brittleness and blame
Now is the time for truth and love to last
Which means lines 5 and 7 don't rhyme now, I hate to ask for this but would you be able to revise your last line so that it rhymes with line 5 of the final poem CRND?
Secondly, I think Holy's turn is next again if we're going A-B-C-A-C-B-A-B-C-A-C-B-A-B where A = CRND, B = Holy, C = Myself
First, it looks like Holy took the final line from the first revision of my previous sonnet in which case we should go with
Mirages of life to glimpse as a ghost
History hums, but I like now the best.
Each of us living lives, no "King" can boast
We can't change whats passed, we're cursed if not blessed
My last moment in pain, a King of glass.
The crown of man is brittleness and blame
Now is the time for truth and love to last
Which means lines 5 and 7 don't rhyme now, I hate to ask for this but would you be able to revise your last line so that it rhymes with line 5 of the final poem CRND?
Secondly, I think Holy's turn is next again if we're going A-B-C-A-C-B-A-B-C-A-C-B-A-B where A = CRND, B = Holy, C = Myself
Beget, begone!
Begotten, I become.
Begotten, I become.