A Way Into Their World

[jeffalot]

- I'm not going to say what it's about exactly, because that's my first question.  Is it too hard to understand what I'm talking about?
- If not, should I care?  Maybe I should only share it with people who already know what it's about, and they will appreciate being "in the know".  Then again, they might simply think it sucks and that would backfire.
- I'm only speaking to the reader in the first stanza, where I'm talking about my "friend". For the rest, I'm talking to my "friend".  Does this become clear?
- Is this even an OK thing to do in poetry, or is it just confusing?  Is there a name for that kind of switch?
- In the second stanza, would it make more sense to put the question mark at the end of the fifth line instead of the fourth?

It seems to me that you are writing about angling/fishing? The "reflective ceiling" could be the water's surface viewed from beneath, the "cobbled floor" might be the stony bed of the river or lake? You then address the fish that you try to catch, having a brief 'communion' with it after it takes your bait, your 'feathered ruse', and later you say goodbye to your finny (fish fin) friend.

I had to look up "meniscus", and the word on its own didn't mean much to me on the first reading (though that's on me for not knowing it). On that first reading the feline imagery was very present in my mind. Feral gives me a mammalian sense, rather than a fishy sense to me - feral is an animal that was domesticated and then went back into the wild, so I am not sure that this completely works logically in describing a fish? Later you use the word 'feline' - maybe you are hoping for catfish?

I found the different addresses first to the reader, then to the "friend", easy to understand. You clearly state "their" in the first stanza and then switch to "your". You could make this separation more obvious by saying "my furtive feral friends" (plural). That would then align with your use of "their world" earlier in the stanza, and make it clear that you are discussing general fish in the first stanza, not just a single one.

I think it's ok to switch addresses - it gives a sense of storytelling in your poem and draws the reader in. When you change the focus of your address, it might be called an apostrophe - see  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apostrophe...of_speech)

"In the second stanza, would it make more sense to put the question mark at the end of the fifth line instead of the fourth?"
I would suggest:
Will you accept a feathered ruse,
  my finicky feline friend?
That way, it is clear that you are addressing the "friend". Otherwise, "my finicky feline friend" is just kind of dangling there on its own.

I like your poem - I think the beginning "I know of a way into their world" is fantastic - it's exciting and gives me as a non-fishing (fishy?) person some sense of what fishing means to you.

You said you found writing the poem to be more work than fun. Maybe the poem was in your head too long?