Ocean

[billy]

Eyes closed I stand
out in the November cold
far from the ocean shore
Ears poised I hear
the sound I know
crashing waves above me
of the ocean surf.

for me a little edit on the enjambment could possibly help this stanza.

It rolls and roars
through the trees
wave after wave
I stand in wonder.

Eyes closed the wind
dances lower
and lower
and I am swimming.

again, i think the above stanza needs a small edit on the enjambment

Eyes open
I am in a field
of fragrant autumn leaves.

i like this verse as it delineates reality and imagination.

As I move slowly
planting my feet firmly
it feels familiar
I pay attention
I stop
Eyes closed
the sand surrounds
my shoes
I feel its push
of resistance
when I move
my toes,
yet my mind knows.

i also really enjoyed the feel of the above stanza. nice juxtaposition of imagination to the reality in the stanza above it

Eyes open
I look upon the ground
I am standing upon
frozen grass and leaves
embracing my feet.

again the enjambment in the above stanza, also the repeat of upon feels a little awkward.

This moment is mine.
I hear, feel, smell
and see,
Ocean!

©

i agree with addy's pointers o the 1st stanza so no need to repeat them.

thanks for braving the serious crit Bianca.
all in all not much to do as far as editing goes.
an enjoyable read thanks again.