10-13-2025, 12:41 AM
Your poem is moving and feels like an experience in itself. The line ‘stone cold skin flunctuating in scale of slaughter’ caught my attention to the point I almost felt like I myself had cold skin. It was worded beautifully and the imagery suits the 'violent' emotions of grief. The poem feels heavy, like grief does.
I furthermore thought the poem had a clear theme that was consistent throughout the poem. The first line says it all ‘My grief is ground center for healing’. This line will stick with me.I like that you used ‘ground center’. It almost feels like a construction site on which we build our lives. Love that imagery.
I think it would be an improvement to be even more consistent in imagery. For example the ground zero, the water or the slaughter are strong, but it does not return as a more consistent metaphor. I would like to see more of your strong imagery and perhaps less abstract description. The descriptions read beautifully, but sometimes is a little explanatory.
I furthermore thought the poem had a clear theme that was consistent throughout the poem. The first line says it all ‘My grief is ground center for healing’. This line will stick with me.I like that you used ‘ground center’. It almost feels like a construction site on which we build our lives. Love that imagery.
I think it would be an improvement to be even more consistent in imagery. For example the ground zero, the water or the slaughter are strong, but it does not return as a more consistent metaphor. I would like to see more of your strong imagery and perhaps less abstract description. The descriptions read beautifully, but sometimes is a little explanatory.