10-10-2025, 07:23 PM
Some of the language is too informal. I think you shouldnt use words like "wanna" and "literally" and "dang" especially since you've used formal words later on or in other parts of the poem such as "conundrum". Its inconsistent. I enjoyed the metaphors though, they're very creative. I really liked the part where you compared the hiddenness of your metaphors to the quiet kids who don't want to be noticed or when you made the comparison between joy and feathers. I also enjoyed the structure of the poem. Overall a good read but some tweaks would help.