10-01-2025, 06:39 PM
1st edit: photo/graphic recall
Frozen and surrounded
by a black frame,
for years we stood
together, on the white
mantelpiece, dusty by habit,
clean by flashes.
Your arm around me,
as I smile,
to warm you.
Icy eyes look
out to warn me.
a break —
a rush of knowing
cascades of meaning
shift
and reframe,
locked in.
Glinting glances at unknown faces.
Knowing grins in familiar places.
I wonder where we stand now.
Original: The Photo
Frozen and surrounded
by a black frame,
for years we stood
together, on the white mantlepiece,
sometimes dusty, sometimes clean.
Your arm around me,
as I smile,
to warm you.
Icy eyes
look out
to warn me.
Knowing glances at unknown faces.
Warning grins in familiar places.
I wonder where we stand now.
-----------------
Hey, I wanted to share this as my first poem here. It's been going around my head for about a week, and I can't really read it critically anymore .... I haven't had too much experience with writing poetry since school, but I am keen to get feedback and to improve. I had tried some more formal poems at first, so this was my attempt at something freer. Anyway, thank you for reading, and I look forward to hearing from you.
Frozen and surrounded
by a black frame,
for years we stood
together, on the white
mantelpiece, dusty by habit,
clean by flashes.
Your arm around me,
as I smile,
to warm you.
Icy eyes look
out to warn me.
a break —
a rush of knowing
cascades of meaning
shift
and reframe,
locked in.
Glinting glances at unknown faces.
Knowing grins in familiar places.
I wonder where we stand now.
Original: The Photo
Frozen and surrounded
by a black frame,
for years we stood
together, on the white mantlepiece,
sometimes dusty, sometimes clean.
Your arm around me,
as I smile,
to warm you.
Icy eyes
look out
to warn me.
Knowing glances at unknown faces.
Warning grins in familiar places.
I wonder where we stand now.
-----------------
Hey, I wanted to share this as my first poem here. It's been going around my head for about a week, and I can't really read it critically anymore .... I haven't had too much experience with writing poetry since school, but I am keen to get feedback and to improve. I had tried some more formal poems at first, so this was my attempt at something freer. Anyway, thank you for reading, and I look forward to hearing from you.