Surprised - edit2
#5
edit2;

You’re old, almost
as old as I am now–

Surely you’ve walked
into a second or third room
and wondered why
you came...

then found a glass
part-full of wine
in your hand
that you’d thought was empty.



Thanks, now, to both critics.  To @brynmawr1, specifically:  you're right, the last stanza was an afterthought - and an attempt to make it clear the "you" is a person being addressed rather than a generic observation about one's own experience.  Without it, the reader will have to figure that out for himself - as well as whether the surprise is that the glass wasn't empty, or the hand was not   Smile  .
feedback award Non-practicing atheist
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Messages In This Thread
Surprised - edit2 - by dukealien - 08-21-2025, 09:07 AM
RE: Surprised - by adagio - 08-22-2025, 06:45 AM
RE: Surprised - edit - by dukealien - 08-22-2025, 10:51 PM
RE: Surprised - edit - by brynmawr1 - 09-04-2025, 07:28 AM
RE: Surprised - edit2 - by dukealien - 09-07-2025, 05:16 AM



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