Surprised - edit2
#2
I enjoyed the "unexpected" rhyme at the end, and the overall sound. Good stuff! Just a couple of rhymes, and some internal ones (old-walked, right?) plus two-beats in almost every line create a pretty nice effect.
Why is the glass only half full though?
Oh yeah, and please correct the typo, though - thought Smile
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Messages In This Thread
Surprised - edit2 - by dukealien - 08-21-2025, 09:07 AM
RE: Surprised - by adagio - 08-22-2025, 06:45 AM
RE: Surprised - edit - by dukealien - 08-22-2025, 10:51 PM
RE: Surprised - edit - by brynmawr1 - 09-04-2025, 07:28 AM
RE: Surprised - edit2 - by dukealien - 09-07-2025, 05:16 AM



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